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hey. this blog is currently giving me so many problems with the html and stuff. so here's the new blog!

http://cherispeaks.blogspot.com

relink and cya folks!

hey all. long time since pictures have appeared. i am trying to find a new blog skin, but gimme some time cos ive been really busy. my schedule's almost always packed all the way!

alright, i think that EARTH IS really huge. after seeing pictures, i realised that there is more than what i know and can see! and since i aint got enuff moolah to go to every place in the world, i watch travelling shows and see pictures and magazines. and perhaps you dont know but my ambition is not to be an accountant/doctor/lawyer blah blah but actually a TRAVELLING SHOW HOST. yeah. that. like anthony bourdain ^^ and those on discovery travel and living, lonely planet...

below are real pictures, not taken from any website:


1. SYDNEY

business district


fountain place with lotsa flags of other countries

sydney harbor bridge
luna theme park. free entry! only pay for rides you seat
world heritage site (for dunno what's sake) - sydney opera house
sydney fish market. just look at this picture alone. explains the fact that australia has many asians.

if you think my life is all fun, here's an insight to what a lazy day for me is:

930-10 wake up
10-1030 breakfast : frozen yoghurt (yoplait)/fruit parfait, apple juice, knackebrod/waffles with maple syrup
1030-12 watch movie
12-1245 swim
1245-115 suntan
115-2 sauna
2-3 lunch-tea: green salad, macaroons of different flavors, scones/cake, lemonade
3-5 sleep, watch tv
5-6 do some work
6-8: play piano/learn a language
8-930 - dinner: pita (with fillings)/tapas , pasta/rosti, salad of a differnt kind, lobster bisque/mushroom soup, enbarsdrika

(if theres sth on schedule, then plan changes from 6)


okay this sounds like some couch potato/lazy pig/ food gourmet's lifestyle


haha i am a food connoiseur and that is sth i cant deny

after o's, go brazilian/swedish/spanish/french with me okay!

i must say this.

WHAT THE BLEH!

today's lit consultation and some ppl from ep decided to gatecrash (oops) so oh well. e more e merrier.we didn't have questions to ask anyway.

so this weird guy from cr comes in (shant say the name but its pretty obvious). he talks weirdly, looks weird and IS very weird. its not that i care about looks and didn't mind e ep ppl gatecrashing (because they look quite normal). but e moment he came in i couldn't stop laughin.

so he comes in and even though mr soon aint his teacha,

"hello mr soon. (stutters and mumbles incoherently). can i zzzzoin in? i hv a fiu questions'
we are good ppl so we allowed him in.

some weird lines from him:

'so do we have tuu compant (thats what i heard) the sources. must we use the compant' this sentence was reiterated like 5 times and no one understood.

'so what about the eeeeshu (bah blahblah)'

all these while yiting and i kept laughin to ourselves and it was quite bad i admit but we couldn't help it. there was this point where i just couldn't stop shaking and tears actually came out cos i was laughin like some loco freak.

then, everytime we laughed, the opposite guy saw and he wuld steal laugh (they say its tou xiao). i like -steal-laugh- expressions they're hilari0us!\

after the ep ppl went off the cr guy insisted to say. mr soon was being quite funny and mean cos he kept saying shoo and go away and stuff like that to the guy. cos afterallwe booked him and are his students, not that guy. so the cr guy was like pleading. and we settled that he could sit in but couldnt say a word or ask to elaborate. how mean!

haha enuff of that incident

anyway the results thingo is out on the ugly green canteen board near the vending machines.

yiting counted that 32 (OR 34 cant remb) of our whole class ARE ON THAT LIST! HOW GREAT! i love me class keep it up pple!


okay so monday is a big day and tuesday is a even bigger day. this weekend's gonna be tough. lets pull through and hope that my disgusting inconsiderate loud and uncivilised new (ind***) neighbours would cooperate and maybe realise that they need to lower their tv volumes, talking volumes, jingles of their bangles (maybe due to dancing in preparation for deepavali),considering to cover their mouths when they sneeze and not sneeze so loudly like theres no tmrw and make my bed and walls vibrate and lastly, to just GET OUT OF MY SIGHT (not literally) and mAKE THEMSELVES UNHEARD AND UNSEEN AND WHATeVER.

(see above paragraph. in literature, run on lines are indicative of a state of mind. go figure)

EXAMS!

total change in lifestyles. totally weird. totally stressed.

but totally psyched to think of what WE'RE all gonna do after that.

alright. pray for me mothafuckas!

IRONY

isn't it ironic?

that you expect THIS to happen, but in the end, THAT happened?

isn't it ironic?

how you never expected this matter to turn out well but in the end it turned out so well it baffled you?

isn't it ironic?

that you never expected another matter to turn out badly but in the end it turned out so bad it overwhelmed you?

isn't it ironic?

that you get the things you want MOST in your life when you LEAST EXPECTED it, thus givin you a surprise?

isn't it ironic?

the world is an enigma that no one can ever solve.


this is getting really emo!

you see:


a typical teenager. lookin rather okay.
probably at home studyin or restin.



wow. this girl's pupil is really huge. wide-eyed? with? love? no my friends, wide-eyed due to poisonin of bella donna.


she doesn't spend time at home doin 'normal' stuff like other 'normal' teens would be doin. she promised never to get back to her old habit that she indulged in, two painful years ago. and now, the habit's got to her. SELF-MUTILATION.


she just can't stop. and even if she wants to, it won't allow her to. IT just continues, on and on. looks pretty much like a french manicure, if she leaves it for three seconds, no? it freakin hurts, but she can't help it. this life is breakin her down.
she has to find a solution.

she has to kiss goodbye to her life, which was never more than a seemingly perfect facade.

au revoir...

three posts for three consecutive days!!!


5 things

5 things you didn't know about me:

1. i am originally centre-parted, and still am.
2. i like countrysides and suburbs more than shopping centres.
3. i sleep on a double decker bed.
4. i love to eat.
5. i have a weight obsession and have distorted views about image.

i'm sure one or another is something you don't really know. and there ive said it!

and i seriously am not emo, haha.

i thought today was one of the worst days of my life, where you couldn't even return to where you come from - your alma mater. it was sad that i couldn't go back.

thankfully i managed to do sth with my day. and watched evan almighty with weng and suansuan. its hilarious and nice!! e guys are quite fun to be with, haha.

and im SO BACK into the retro times. i want the beehive!

imma pimp muh beautiful hair. at least its au naturale, not like SOME, hehe xD

oh yeah

im goin on a country roadtrip (kinda) on sunday (with muh folks). u can't really use 'countryside' in singapore. but oh well. we will manage.

ohy eah, i cn finally start on my french and spanish already. merci and gracias to paps!

till then,

say hello to fall 2007 and a beautiful laid back life!

hey everyone!

finally i have a break to my prelims. so here's what we did on thurs. we went to watch HAIRSPRAY MY FAVORITE SHOW THAT IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR SINCE E BEGINNIN OF E YEAR!

it just ran so heavily suddenly and it was quite amusin seein all e teachers and students struggle. with my freakin mini jap brolly, bigm and lilt borrowed a spoilt brolly from the general office and we walked out in the pourin rain.


they're all freakin freakin drenched. i wasn't that good either:

our sox got sooo wet and our shoes were disgustin. so we actually went to buy flip flops from ripcurl! damn cheap too!

yeah and HAIRSPRAY WAS THE BESTTTT!!! it had such a clear hidden message bout the racism btw whites and blacks. sooo meaninful. and did i say, i love broadway plays!

so after that, we shopped at DAISO for teacher's day pressies and we walked for a realalalaay long time. after that. went to muh fav. gloria jeans and i finally got my salad.

evn the receipt had muh big name xd:

i received a huge surprise at gloria jeans. but oh well xD

after that roamed for quite a while. and its alright, yiting! dont needa feel bad haha

oh yeah b4 we left we went outdoors to make a video for mrs INDRA! it was hilarious and we were luffin like hyenas and attractin all e attention. and big m is finally smilin properly:

and this is big m lookin like sth from 7th month:

yiting and i; we looove this place! hahaah

so after that we took da subway den we went to raffles place where my dad fetched bigm and i home! sooo tired.

anyway,

thanks SHAUN. it's really sweet xD

and

THANK YOU DARIUS! U'RE SOOO ADORABLE AHAH

I'M TIRED AND CAN'T START.

SOS PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME.

i just discovered i can be really emo too/

I LOVE BLACKS!

took e monorail from vivocity. then we reached! it wasn't quite as sunny as we'd expect it to be. jos was like, how bout my tan!!!

and there were lotsa ppl there. maybe cos of the public holiday. and not that im racist or wadeva. but 80% of e ppl there were mainland chinese and indians. like north south east west all around u were indians! and they were really loud.
we were quite unprepared. forgot to bring picnic mats to sit on! i forgot to bring towel and stuff. and it was only two of us, which made us feel quite awkward.

so in e end we rested our freakin asses on the sand. then we realised that we opened an ants hole. right on!

jos looks so happy. and thin.


i felt really restrained by my big white camisole. was my mom's. and i felt real old with it. so what the hell. i took it off and those indian men were like... ~!@#$%^&.

my hair looks short from here

then here comes messy hair.

oh yeah the indians just placed their duffel bags in front of where we were sitting and took off their pants. they jumped into the water wearing their underwear, not swimsuit! crikey/

okay. some last picture b4 those indians pissed me off and we went to palawan. and i hereby highlight i AM NOT A RACIST. its just that they happened to be in the way.
so we went to palawan which was much more crowded and sunny. yay!! ideal for suntanning. so we jumped into the dirty murky green waters cos e heat was overbearing. and we told ourself to keep our heads above e water. e water stank. and this indian man;s beach ball landed on the water, causing all e water to splash on my face. damn its salty. and thanks

after dippin ourselves we went to sit. we used the japanese map as our 'picnic map' . thats called innovation xD.

so jos and i talked about really private stuff that i wouldn't even dare ask anyone. like really private stuff. she talked bout her troubles, i talked bout mine. shes e best sista i could ever have. thanks ya! and so we decided to drown our sorrows in chocolate and nachos.

talked there for a really long time. l8r asked this guy to take this pic of us before we left.


oh yeah. a final dip. jos lookin freakin thin again. sigh/
and again before we left, we kinda destroyed this couple's sandcastle. this was before. i didn't take e after picture, my bad.and jos insisted we beta leave our mark. so there u go. the date was awesome. 9/8/7.



lookin quite sunburnt and tired. okay jos is still quite fair.

alright. our next destination - raffles the plaza hotel! we were there to catch the national day parade. karen paid $470 a nite for it. rich rich rich, man! view from our balcony:



those red dots are ppl/!!




we felt a bit bored. and realised we could do with some spa. so i sneaked in entry and lied point blank to the person in the face i was 18. im gettin better at this.

oh yeah b4 e spa we went to swim.
we were chattin on the sunchair when suddenly i saw a big red singapore flag flyin past.

so everyone got high. ppl came outta their hotel room, screamed and waved. i stood on the sunchair, jumped, screamed and all e caucasians were loookin at me. oh well. my country what!

didn't manage to take pic. but that was what i got.

oh yeah i think i have high resistance. even tho e pool was cold, i could withstand it. jos was shiverin within the first minute! so after 5 mins we left e pool. headed towards e spa. we looked quite funny walkin around e hotel with wet towels draped over my bodies. haha

on the way to the spa, i realised how luxurious life can be. there's private aromatherapy rooms and u can just faint (in a good way) when u get a whiff of those oils.

skool may be borin. but there still are fun times as well:


this monday was one of the nicest lessons i had, despite the hot weather (uugh)


so it was english lesson and we had to practice our english oral

as usual, we bought our drink from canteen (not allowed) and ate our recess food in ms kwek's class. (sorry! cant help it if we're hungry)

so you see the evidence on the table

hola, ms kwek! tis big M and i:

in case ya'll wonderin, wassup with that fully buttoned shirt and folded up collar? so we were bored. and wanted to act like a model student. or maybe to show that tis' e season for a new fashion trend. so the whole lesson, we looked like geeks/dorks xD

lil T and i gettin astounded by whats in the book! like, wow! a picture!

we love studyin! and tis' me teachin lil T how to read and observe a picture:
and now, we commit the most heinous crime anyone can imagine - spacin out during mrs lim's chem lesson! note to fellow skoolmates - never, ever do that in her class:

we are model students who love skool!

nigga lil T posin ya'll. and blockin my face. lol

teng hui during lesson. i think he was thinkin of becomin some cartoon character or a machine or a robot or sth:

monday lunchtime! lil M reluctantly posed in this pic after us pullin and tuggin at her for a really long time. thanks to teckseng for takin this wonderful pic!(look at big M's expression!!!)

we decided that we really want to take pictures with suansuan! he didn't want so he ran to the boys toilet. and guesss what, lil T and i waited outside e males toilet like bodyguards guardin e door. and when e door open we saw how diff e boys toilet looked from ours. no comments. and finally he came out. and a nice picture is taken: (anyway thats some pe pants behind suansuan)

another picture with ah suansuan:

i found this pic in lil T's phone. didn't even know someone was takin a pic. i think they were sayin some stupid joke.

ALRIGHT END OF MONDAY MADNESS. NOW WE TALK ABOUT CROSS COUNTRY!

so i planned not to run. wore my sneakers. didn't eat or drink. our class took many pictures before the run and everyone was really enthusiastic. we all sprayed our hair (i did, not so willingly) and wore the cheesy class tee! promised big M to stroll with her. but l8r xy kept askin me to run so i finally agreed. l8r i kinda ran alone and boy oh boy, the weather was freakin hot! so i finally reached the mid point and i got some water. choked on it real bad then i threw bout 90% of it. the boy was like shocked. lol. so finally i reached e end point! its so embarrassin cos everyone gets to see u lookin all sweaty and panting. so l8r we went to laugh at ppl comin back too! so wicked.

i was quite surprised by the sudden urge of enthusiasm from my classmates, and the other sec 4s. in fact, it was the first time i saw everyone so united. we sang songs with all our might, screamed our lungs out and cheered for everyone! i was kinda dead but after that i got quite hyped up too. seein everyone so happy made me feel that our cohort aint that bad after all.

and, our class won the most patriotic class award! everyone was delighted bout that! i think we deserve it, for all the effort we put in, but i think every class did quite well too. in fact i think some classes deserved that award more than we did, tho we reaaaaly did a lot. this patriotic class competition turned out to be a war btw us and 4dl. but seriously, i think they rocked today. i didn't know why we even had a 'war' but lets not get grumpy over a trivial thanng, alright? lets hope the tension btw us goes away.

finally the xcountry ended and we actually walked for 40 mins to macs! i was the last of our classmates. and i got real emo, with all the wind blowin and the sight of the seawater and all. so we ate, took somemore pics. and i didn't post any. cos i wasn't using my hp to take pics at that time.go check out my class blog or my classmates' to see all the wonderful pictures!

after eatin we cabbed to century to watch rush hour 3. on da way in da cab

us wantin to act like niggas:

we're potential niggas ya'll

ok tis' not really nigga-style

in case ya'll wonderin, where's big M? shes in front in e cab, as she 'didn't want to squeeze with us'. never mind! so after awhile she got real tired and i could see her from the side mirror and she looked hilarious!! sorry not so clear.

yup so we catched rush hour 3. it was quite action packed, and certainly HILARIOUS! after e movie, they showed the NGs and it was very funnyyyyyy! go watch it and u'll understand what i mean.

jackie chan said CHEESE when hes supposed to say freeze!

j.c. said the seafood service instead of secret service

and the list goes on. and they weren't even aware they're makin mistakes. haha

after the show we actually stayed in e cinema for 15 mins laughin our asses off. and u knw, big M has the most contagious laughter. and a loud one too. we laughed till our stomach ached so much. we were also very full cos b4 that, we actually went to shop and save. they bought one litre of milk, lotsa chocs, yoghurt and drinks. i only ate the chocs. they really are pro in eating.

then we actually tailed this insane women for 5 mins around tampines mall cos she was carrying a plastic baby and talkin on an imaginary phone. we are very lame we need wheelchairs i know.

this week rocked, cos its SHORT AND SWEET!

alright happy 42nd birthday singapore. singapore go go go!

btw. ntu alumni club's totally cool. the food's cheap and great. the place's great. and the facilities are wooohooo, sweet.

cya'll sometime l8r ya'll.

xD

code red: the fizzy drink is losin its effervescence.'

sorry to ordinary blog readers. i sound really cryptic at times. maybe because i only want a few ppl, who i know really well, to understand fully what i mean. afterall, crackin da code's fun and challengin eh? ok so crack the above 'riddle'. its not chemistry, btw.

school is hell

so many tests and assignments.

my mind has to be filled with stupid stuff like factno.1 and factno.2 and the list goes on.

i am gonna live alone for a week. that means doin all the chores. and i have to profess an unspoken fear of being alone in the house at night.

apart from that.

and, I CANNOT...

PS FOR all the unexplained cryptic stuff i type.

ok i'd end off in a spastic way;

uh-oh. im goin crazy. xD
hehehahahohohumhumharharhihi
pooooooooo
zzzzzzzzzzz

INTERACT CLUB INSTALLATION - 310707 INNOSPHERE LT2. 5PM. OMG CAN'T WAIT. I KINDA LOVE MY CCA PPL NOW. ITS LIKE A COMMUNITY.

I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL A LIL ANNOYED AT ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS. I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS BUT SHES KINDA GETTIN ON MY NERVES NOW. NOTE TO SELF: TOLERATE.

AND DON'T BE A POSEUR AND ACT LIKE PPL OR SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT.

I DO REALISE I TALK DIFFERENTLY FROM THE TYPICAL SINGAPOREAN THAT MAKES ME STAND OUT A LIL. I DUNNO HOW PPL VIEW BOUT THAT BUT SORRY, I CAN'T CHANGE MYSELF. I AM TRYING TO, BUT PARDON ME IF ITS NOT GOING TOO WELL. TILL THEN, KNNBBPBBSBSBKNNBCCB (LEARNT FROM CLASSMATE)- HOKKIEN WORRRXXXX.

SEE, I TOLD YOU. MY EMOTIONS ARE LIKE THE STOCKMARKET. EVER-SO-FLUCTUATING. IN ONE SINGLE BLOG POST I CAN HAVE 5 DIFF EMOTIONS. HADIHAHA

SKOOL SUX, BTW.

lets refer to 'she' or 'her' as my 'mother'.



i havent been talkin to her for 3 weeks and i don't think i will be anytime soon.



it started with a simple clarification about the use of my dressing table. she comes back tired, after a day of work and straight away goes to my room and uses the dressing table. come on, after 8 hrs workin outside, you oughta be a lil dirty and sweaty right? the use of my dressing table, as drafted by me, is that you gotta be clean to use it. afterall, its my dear dressing table that i got only after 2 years of waiting.



she comes back from work, doesnt even bother to cook and straight away uses my dressing table. its a matter of hygiene and respect for my personal possession (which is very dear). so she leans on the dressing table, starts scrutinising every pore on her face, flicks and ruffles her hair here and there. and all my combs and hair accessories are being subjected to every minute sebum and dead skin that falls off during your routine act. as you said, 'i can't see anything dropping to the table', call me obsessed or paranoid, but come on, its disgusting. sheer revolting. how would you feel after i came back from a long day of school, sweaty and dirty and lethargic, and start sitting on your dressing table chair and begin to ruffle my hair and flick my skin all around, which had probably been steeped with minute sweat particles, dead skin, and sebum? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?



so a particular wednesday 3 weeks ago, i couldn't take it anymore. despite umpteen attemps in telling you to respect my possessions, i tell you again once more. 'pls don't use my dressing table when you're not bathed and clean. you have your own dressing table and if you use mine, you ought to respect it.' i told that to you in a soft, diplomatic voice. instead, you took that as a challenge to start yet another screaming hissy fit that we practically have everyday. you started raising your voice, telling me that you had no wrong to use my dressing table, paps paid for it, and that i was too obsessed with cleanliness, just like my father. you gave a hell lotta reasons and i could sense the tension. i tried several times to tell you exactly what i mean, but my attempts were futile. you misunderstood me. you thought i was tryin to revolt against you and start another war. after some time, this process of clarification ended up being the biggest war that we ever had.



you raised your voice, i raised mine. you screamed at me, i screamed back at you. you slammed the door in my face with such loudness that the decibel rating was well above 100. i opened the door, screamed at you once more, and slammed it even louder. the slamming continued for 15 mins. the screaming made my lungs felt like it was going to rupture. i made the first room and locked myself in my room. you continued shoutin despite reitering many times that 'i wont speak with you anymore. i ve given up on you.' if so, prove it! dont speak to me anymore! don't contradict yourself by opening your mouth and subjecting me to your shrill voice!



you have verbal diarrhoea. you can't stop once you started. you said you wont speak and i swear you did for at least 30 mins after you made that statement. i told you to stop talkin but apparently, you thought that was the red light for saying somemore. i tried to find solace in the claustrophobic and crammed place i had as my room. however i couldn't, as your bellowing resonated throughout the whole bloddy house. i coudn't take it anymore. i opened my wardrobe and took out a whiteboard marker and some really beautiful cans that i had collected from overseas. i stared at my oak brown door and began to throw those at the door. it was loud. but it felt great, like my anger was leavin my posessed body with every hurl. you heard it, of course. you ordered me to stop, but this sense of rebellion in me told me to continue, just like the verbal diarrhoea you had. i hurled and flinged and soon was overcome with fatigue.

then you said your trademark lines 'dont call me your mother anymore. i am not your mother and you are not my daughter. its my bad luck to have brought you into the world'. even though my once tender heart has been filled with these words so many times, i must admit that each time you said that, my heart felt like it was being stabbed with a knife. if you thought that those lines affected me, i admit it did. if you had the guts, do what you say! don't nato (no action, talk only!) if you had the guts to disown me, do it! don't say it everytime and pretend it to be a threat just to scare me off. your words are all a lie. you said you won't talk, and yet you did. you 'disowned' me, and you know what, im still in this estranged family! seriously, DO WHAT YOU SAY. DON'T JUST SPEAK EMPTY WORDS.

the last 3 weeks was hell, because i had to be subjected to your hissy fits and pettiness. you slammed everything, snatched the remote control and changed it to your channel WHILE I WAS OBVIOUSLY WATCHING IT. you did everything to go against me. you did even the slightest thing to proof your point. you folded all the clothes except mine, and threw it to one side. you washed all the dishes, but left mine at one corner. i began to realise, 'hey, she's playin a game with me. i shall not be a spoilsport!' so i followed suit. i got the hang of it, and hey guess what, if you can do it, i can too.

people reading this may relate to me and understand what i'm going through. but some may differ. you might think that im just a rebellious and uncontrollable teenager coping with raging hormones and trying to drive her to an early grave. you might think that what ive done in response to her was totally wrong, and that that was not how a daughter should behave in front of her. you might think that im one of the worst kids any parent could have, and would probably ask your kids to read my post, and never , ever learn from this 'beyond-control teenage girl'. im the total opposite to an ideal kid, so don't ever learn from me.

however, you would never understand how i feel. ive been living in such a f*ed up envt and controlling myself. ive been living with all these shoutings and cold wars, which sometimes turn really violent. ive been living with all your stupid temperaments, moodswings and hormonal imbalances since i was 11. indeed, it was your mistake to bring me into this world. it was your fault to bring a helpless soul into such a superficial, hostile and ugly world. you think that you are the most pathetic, the one facing the worst and that everyone should sympathise with you. but excuse me, lemme give you a reality check. perhaps you should reflect on yourself, and ask yourself why you are always stuck in a shit-hole, always gettin (as you said) bad jobs, bitchy colleagues, bad health and those stuff. its all prevalent in today's society. its not your bad luck, but the whole thing LIES IN YOU. you are the master of your destiny and if you face all that shit, maybe its your fault afterall. you just cannot cope with your life properly and correctly. seriously, everyone thinks the problem lies in you. its just that you have the inability to manage all that.

what ive said probably wont even be heard. why? its because you neved listen to comments or criticisms. you think you're the epitome or correct-ness. you're never wrong, always right. everyone's wrong and bad, and you're the best and most correct. stop being immature. even though you're my mother, but i think you seriously have a problem. try listening to criticisms, would you? but you never will, i know you of old.

pap's really confused and disappointed and angry with this cold war of 3 weeks. but paps, im not gonna give in anymore. im not gonna be like you, give in, and let her have the impression that shes right, once more. she needs to learn her lesson and know that she ain't always right. i had enough of giving in, my whole life revolves around that,.

now you give me the ultimatum. ive just heard the relayed news that you won't even help to wash my school uniform. i might try to use the washing machine, but guess what, if i am crazy enough, i would probably go to school with mouldy stinky uniforms, unwashed, or just buy a new set of uniforms everyday. or maybe, go to school without a uniform!

i am sick with all this thrash. my family life is seriously screwed up. apart from the wars with you, i also have to tolerate you and paps. i have to go through the screaming of vulgarities, the throwing of stuff, practically every second. i live in a milieu where there's no peace and harmony. its conflict, every second. you do all those stuff, utter all those expletives, and wonder, why is our 'daughter' becomin so bad ? why is she learning all the bad stuff? well maybe, if i told you the answer, howd you react? i learnt all these from you guys. you guys taught me all the vulgarities i ever needed to know. you guys told me that i was a bimbo, a bastard and all those stuff. you made me know that i was not treasured, and that i would never be a priority. you instilled in me the sense of insecurity, and that i was never good enough to compare to one of your 'friend's ideal daughters'. i was never good enough for you. you, yes, continue your hissy fits and fights with paps, continue, and see how i gradually turn into those unexpectable, deranged daughters that you thought it was your bad luck for having.

i love peace and hate war. if you continue to fight with paps any longer, how do you expect me to grow healthily, mentally? seriously, our family life is not healthy at all. you guys call me bastards and lament how bad its your fate to have me as your daughter, that sometimes, i really do wonder if i am your kid, afterall. i don't think i resemble you guys, now.

i hope this big war between her and me would end, but if shes not gonna give in, so am i. i AM SICK OF BEING THE LOSER AND THE ONE GIVING IN. I AM NOT GONNA BE THAT, ANYMORE. AND , my folks, stop quarelling. i swear if you dont' stop, i'll really do what i have been thinking of doing for a long time, since i was 10. that would mean committing suicide or leavin the home. that sounds cliche but i treasure my life too much. i'd vacillate over committing suicide because sometimes i just can't take it anymore. i thought of SO many things i could do to make me die. and i'd want a painless one. but look, there're so many other things in life. i don't wanna end my life so soon and not see how my life would be when i grow up. i would want to see myself being successful, having a good family i once never had. i'm up till there. you guys have the power, but i don't think i'll lose my precious life just because of you two. its not worth it. as for leavin home, im not big enough. i have no money and nowhere to go. who'd take me in? relatives, nah. friends? don't even think about it. i would leave home when i have the ability to.

we may seem as a happy, fortunate family. but deepdown, we all know that, thats just a facade. we aren;t the stepford family, the ideal family that you'd always thought we would be.


till then,
see me live in hell,

cherigabrielle

I'm from this class called 4 benevolence. and i think that contrary to what other ppl think, our class is really KEWL AND happening!!!.

i love my class and i wont deny or hide this fact. today , for the skool magazine, we took some pictures. (p.s. im at e front for all e photos, haha) here is one...

first random , ppl not knowing how to stand:

Etiketter: my hip and happenin class

wow we're almost past the third week of term 3 already.
time passes really quickly.

fleeting moments that hardly last.

soon it'll be the end of summer and start of fall.
as the name states, i think i'll feel gloomy too.
oh well

its obvious what the secondary fours are facing and i can't deny that we're slowly feelin the pressure.

apart from that.

since the start of term 3, ive seen to have distanced from xy and cass. i distanced from em maybe cos i always felt left out. and the emotional hurt of what happened towards the end of term 2 left quite a scar in me. however the connection between us just don't seem to be there anymore. maybe its me, but i just feel quite weird being with you guys. it just feels different. but dont' get my idea wrong. i still like you, though i don't know how you guys feel about me.

lately im beginnin to hang out with mians and yh. they are really nice friends and we always have long chats due to long bus rides. with them i feel really different. things are more open, we joke more and i feel less pretentious. they are nice people.

goin out to diff places of the east with mians and yh is really fun, but i do miss goin out with cass and xy as well, as they are really fun and nice friends, trust me. i have no idea why but we just seem to be like strangers nowadays. my mouth just can't open to strike a conversation anymore.

i miss my friends, but i like my current friends too. what am i to do?


anyway, enough of these

i gotta be strong. cos imma fighter!

to my boy:
myhotsexybaby!you'redabest!



till then,

i hope some ppl wont get the wrong idea regarding some ppl.

and MACDONALDS MILKSHAKE ARE DA BOMB XD

I LOVE TODAY'S DATE!


OH YEAH LIVE EARTH ROX! THE WHOLE IDEA IS SO FREAKIN KEWL.

OH YEAH SP OPEN HOUSE ROX. I LOVE SP!

the first song was ain't no other man. her voice really is da bomb. a lot were caucasians and there were many teeeenagers! we got a really good seat, right in the centre!

she started with 'aint' no other man'. and the moment she came out everyone went really high. it was quite hyped up.

don't mind that ugly head in the picture: and my fourtimes zoom aint that good:

my camera sucks, as it doesn't allow the videos to include sound. but the resolution's much betaaaaa! wasted. i wanted to bring my father's one, but it was seriously huge.

so i made do with my handphone. i took a video of every song. and i got 'warned' twice cos video and audio-taking were not allowed. and i swore i really didn't know until i saw the sign AFTER the concert. yeah i was quite scared cos e usher was quite fierce and adamant bout it. so i tried some tactics, heheh.

christina aguilera sang some of her older songs in different beats, rhythms and tempos that were quite unrecognisable initially. but i gotta admit. her voice is damn powerful!!!

she wore really sexy playsuits and dresses and she changed costumes quite often. her fav. color was white, i guess. and she didn't look pregnant at all (as what the tabloids have been sayin)

all her songs were grrrrrrrrreat.

there was also a mini orchestra and back-up-singers who sang equally well. everything was so well coordinated, sometimes the musicians and singers would dance to the beat with christina! the dancers were GODDAMnED HOT and they danced REALLLLY WELL.i want to be in her entourage too. ahhh.

and christina aguilera's very pretty.

it started well and ended well!

so we waited for muh folks to come fetch us and that was the end of one of the best days of my life!!

CHRISTINA AGUILERA, YOU ROCK BIG TIME!!! XOXOXO

hey people! the sommer vacation for singapore schoolchildren has just ended, but sommer vacations are all around the world now! now i should document another one of my father's amazing trips to two of the nicest and most picturesque cities in the world:


my father arrived at hamburg, which was 7 hours behind singapore time. so he suffered real bad jet lag. also, in european countries, during summer, the days are really long. sunrise starts at 4-5 in the morning and sunsets are at 10+ in the evening.

the weather at hamburg wasnt very good as there were constant drizzles and my father , wanting to appear cool, refused to bring an umbrella out. thats the problem with many teens now, too. the currency in hamburg is the euro, and most speak german or english.

hamburg is quite a compact city:



this is the view from my father's hotel window. at the foreground is the subway station:



also, i scolded my father many times as he hadn't taken any pictures, except of the port, whenever he went overseas. like, he only took 6 pictures of a cargo when he went to seoul! so this time, he promised to take pictures. including the bathroom:




this is his hotel. not very nice. but the cost of living is very very expensive. even though its one of the cheapest countries in europe. like, a burger costs sgd10!


some views of hamburg:




this is the typical subway station entrance:



hamburg. btw hamburg is in germany, fyi.





my father was walkin around when he heard a group of indian girls screamin - "rainbow rainbow!' so everyone went to take pictures. and he swears tis ain't any cgi. its totally real. i asked him if he found a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. and he gave me a you-are-so-lame look.

the rainbow's at the top right!




these pictures may seem to be taken around late afternoon, but they are in fact at 9+ in the evening!


okay, enuff of hamburg.

maybe it was a blessing in disguise, but this business trip was a flop because arrangements were not properly made and meetings were cancelled. my father tried to arrange some meetings but couldnt get to meet some clients cos of some screw ups. he suggested to come back to singapore since there was no use roaming around. but only business class flights were available and there were like sgd6000! so da boss suggested he just go to prague (czech republic), since the earlier flight was already booked. so off he went

oh yeah the flight to hamburg was 12 hrs. he took the klm airlines, food was horrible cos there were lotsa dairy products and hes lactose-intolerant. flight from hamburg to prague was one half hrs.


so he stayed at the marriot prague, right smack in the city centre. pictures of a five-star hotel:




since my father had nothing to do for 3 days in prague, he decided to walk around and explore the wonderful city instead of cooping up in the hotel all day long and rot. he combed the whole city by foot. and he walked reallllly long on his business shoes. lol.

currency in prague is the crown (kc). and weather was much better. it was summer, but it was quite cold, esp when the winds blew. he had no jacket so everyhwere he went, he wore a suit. hahahahaha.

views of prague:








roads in prague are very narrow and they dont use tar. they use cobbled stones. very archaic. there're electric trams everywhere. those buses that are like, hung on a wire.

prague has a rich history , very very rich, as you can see from the architecture and everything. sooooo beautiful. at least they conserve their history, not like singapore.




these are bricks that ppl purchase and draw their names on:




the predominant race in prague is catholic, so there're churches everywhere. but most of them have been commercialized and changed into opera houses or museums. pity.

entrance fees to either ones are very expensive. my father tried to save money by entering through the back door. and he succeedeed 3/4 times. smarrrt. and he said when he got approached (for a bad thing), he would just say "Nonononono!' and pretend to gesticulate in some weird language that ppl leave him .hhahahahahaahahhaha its smart you know.



those are real guards:


an empty street, all combed on foot by my father:







view of prague on some tower top:

my father has travelled to many places and i always admire the courage that he has. he is alone most of the time in his business trips. and he aint afraid to venture out! in these two cities, everyone's white and he can get singled out real easily. cos he said that he was prob e only asian man there. i asked if he was scared. and he said, why shld i be? he can be a sole explorer man, and i admire his guts. kudos to you!!!

and i love those beautiful souvenirs. expensive but awesome!!!!

so long, scenic europe!

ahhh i havent had e time to blog bout the greatest day in my life, so i will do so now.

thurs was e GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!

that awesome movie, readin in e posh arty farty esplanade library, walkin round e rooftop garden feastin our eyes on e magnificent view infront of us all, and sittin by da merlion wishin time hadn't passed by so quickly.

words cant describe how ecstatic i am and how the feeling i felt so tenderly.

Je t'aime, my love.

hola amigos

ive hardly had time to blog cos there seriously aint any nice pics at all for me to post!

no photoshoots!!(no time). i need my photoshoots, even camwhore or what, to be done. my pics are gettin old, and by old, i mean more than 3 months old.

ANYWAY its the great singapore sale and i enjoyed myself with (some) retail therapy. need more though, but as i say, im seriously broke, what with all the movie outings during the expensive days and occasional chill-outs which can amount to a bomb.

this holiday's quite packed. i almost have plans everyday, except that those plans arent really those wild, all hyped-out one. rmb i said, the lack of time for photoshoots! wheres jos? come outta mdis and lets work that camera!

and holidays are nothing without.......HOMEWORK. ive been tryin to do it but theres this lack of motivation, time, environment and feeling. i think ive only done 1/3 of all. but who cares.some teachers don't even collect em. you have gotta be smart in sporting subjects

so to sum up, the first half of e hols are gone! what have i done? ive gone to 3 parties, to my first vegetarian bbq, the all-hyped-up-and-so-very-in-activity SUNTANNING. i swear its my best friend now. try it with tanning oil. havin the hot, dreaded sun shine on your wet body that just came outta e pool feels really great!

so, the next half of the 'summer' vacation's gonna past very quickly. my fourth week's automatically booked for the summervacationpeople. my third week will be a mixture. ive been goin out so often that muh folks are gettin real pissed, so i guess i gotta stay home more. and oh yeah do homework!

i m quittin * @ e end of this month. feels weird and sad and wasted. but oh well.

also, im quite occupied with the other boleyn girl, shopaholic and baby, and my beloved. must finish it by these two weeks.

ah im so gonna be busy!! so so so busy!!!





i feel ive done sth really really bad. like i went on a * while my current * is still kinda ongoing. but i stole that bitch's * just like how she stole * 3 yrs ago. oh well. what does * refer to? NM






anyway i love you baby! wonder if u'll see this!

now, some posin b4 we leave the cute tcc room! um gals, ur ghostly attempt huh- :

peace! good!

us tryin to be rock stars. oh yeah, our second left hand rule! (inside joke) :

muh folks givin me a peck.tis pic's so hilarious:

we had a time limit to use the function room so after that, we decided to walk down the scenic robertson walk @ clarke quay to take some pictures, admire the scenery and walk off some calories put on at my party:

does this remind u of a gang fight? too bad there was no formation yaaa

frontin e robertson walk. we were quite dispersed:

thats the view of robertson walk. good times, good memories of barcelona and that violin:

posin infront of the fountain - much ado about nothing- benedick! (inside joke again):

so now we decided to take some pics by da stairs. those are my ushers and thats me tryin to go up e stairs:

on top, alright!

what country are we in? look below us for the ans:

we look like we were in some country club resort, but nah. thats just a bridge, in clarke quayyyy!

and yeah, that was the last pic taken together at tcc:

it was gettin dark, and some ppl had to leave for home or some other stuff. so dad fetched em clarke quay train station. can u believe 6 squeezed into e car! reminds me of when we were younger then the adults would say: one in one out!

so after those in the first ride left, it was picture takin time!:

tis jo' gekyin and i.

tryin to be indian, or look holy:

then it got dark, so we had to use flasssh!:

tis' one emo, three happy:

gekyin thinkin of sth, or someone , me actin macho, cass and jo wantin to rock on!:

okay now, some samba-rillla! dance dance.

choo choooo chooooooooo:

after some time, dad arrived then they dropped us off. we went to marina square, looked at some really good deals. did i mention TIS' E SEASON OF SPENDING- THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE IS HERE! SO, SHOP TILL YA DROP! AND MAX THOSE BUDGETS AND POCKETS AS WELLL! we didn't buy much of anything, and our feet were killin us. oh yeah while waitin for my dad's car earlier on, there was a mosquito rampage, causin me to have 9 big juicy swelling mosquito bites. not cool, baby, not cool.

anyway, i had a helluva great time at my party. it was one of the biggest bashes i ever had, afterall , its my SWEET SIXTEEN!! aint that very impt, ya'll! it was exactly how i wanted. chill-out, nice, simple, sweet, with music, a private exclusive room, nice good f&b, and prac everything else! i loved it. it was simply fabuloso.

tho it was a (very) belated birthday party, it was equally great. so to sum it all, these are (almost) some of e presents i received:

oh, my dear sweet sixteeen! loved it so much. it'll be like, etched in my memory as long as i live (ahh cliche as it sounds, oh well).

the realisation dawned on me that im sixteeen! i can watch nc16 movies! i can go to underage clubbing parties legally! i can do sooo many things! if i was in america, i could drive! and all that stuff.

being sixteen really is a big milestone in a gal's life. so i'll cherish every single day and live my life to the fullest!

till then, i'll live the dream and work hard and play hard. im lovin it!!

~~~~

IMMA GO CHRISTINA AGUILERA'S CONCERT WITH BENJI! YAY YAY esctatic yo









~an apology wont make do. what you said will always hurt. it will neva vanish but will always remain at the bottom of my heart. the relationship may seem salvaged. but now i know what are your true colors. it'll neva b e same again. i wont trust anymore~

i have no idea why i have no motivation at all to do anything. just feel like stoning and wasting my life away! so to assignments and work and stuff, au revoir? imma not give a heck until i feel like it. so till then,

PARTY
SHOP
WATCH TV
SOCIALISE
STONE
WASTE

thats how da life's gonna be. ~


oh yeah today i skipped skool cos i had the runs. the food at marina bay steamboat aint clean yo. sso i woke up at 2+ and had FIVE ORDEALS WITH THE TOILET in 20 mins. woke daddy up, couldn't walk and just didn't feel like skooling. oh well.

these few weeks, my social calender's quite full! which is good. but the * count's pretty bad. urgh!

oh yeah gurls, we need to do some photoshoots! this year's photoshoot count was dismal. i need to build up a sizeable portfolio. last year was great. bring it on to this year baby!

till then, party and get wasted for a month. after that. concentrate on my studies.

say byebye to the black and white. say byebye to the contraption. say byebye to my inanimate friend for 12 years.

au revoir, and i cant wait for sat! xD xD xD

hey everyone! today i officially turned 16. there're many pros and cons on turnin 16, but overall,im quite glad. cos my day was quite well! da pictures:

i actually feel asleep on the midnight on my bday! xy and cass were callin me on my cell to wanna sing e happy birthday song to me, and yet i fell asleep. no wonder i felt weird b4 sleepin last night, like sth was missin. when i woke up, my phone had so many missed calls and msgs! nice start!

so i dolled up a bit, reached skool and xy and cass gave me this!

i had to carry that bouquet around everywhere i went and that invited lotsa stares. but most ppl had fun holdin and askin me bout it. merci beaucoup!

oh yeah and check it out, they bought me thongs. how erotic.



the skool day was borin with lotsa debriefs. skool ended at 1145 cos dava was in hospital. aww. and we thought we had cip briefin and that interact stuff. but only realised at 130 that both were cancelled. how sweet, so we stayed back for nada.

so that was what i carried to skool.



anyway went to tampines with mians and yihui. went to cafe cartel, wantin to savour e set lunch, only to realise that we were too late for lunch!


what were we to do? see muh mates in a dilema. we didn't really wanna go in but found ourselves inside. just when e waitress wanted to serve us drinks, we left hastily and ran out, for quite a long distance! laughed so crazily and loud and it was so embarrassing.



after that, finally had lunch at tampines mall food court. e food is nice and i ended up eatin a sundae and a toasted sandwich. which gained me lotsa calories, oh my! after that, wantin to walk around for awhile, went to e rooftop place and relived childhoods. ppl always say im deprived of my childhood and i love playgrounds.



e place was calm, until we 'polluted' it. we played with this weird lookin contraption that looked innocent and yet was so scary when we were on it. we screamed our lungs out!



mians is always pushin e ppl cos its a decoy to hide that shes scared!! see my expression: its like im lookin at her with cautiousness, afraid that she'd anyhow push that thing. oh yeah and when she got up that thing l8ron, it was so hilarious!

after enough of playin, we went to toysrus (ahh deprived childhood) to look at party stuff. i so love e kids costume! if only they were much larger...

oh yeah and we tried to find pinatas. but they were so small, so expensive and didnt have any stuff inside! diy is beta yo...

i love toysrus party stuff! only that they might get too kiddy but what the hell, i like it! (deprived childhood). i might have this notion that i;d get u guys to wear those cone shaped hats durin my *!

after gettin outta toysrus and strollin forawhile, yihui had to go home. aww so mians and i caught blades of glory (impromptu decision). it was awesome! we were afraid evrytime someone stepped into e cinema cos we were sittin not on our allocated seats. and mians has this weird belief! thankfully e cinema was not so packed and everyone could laugh as loud as they can. release ur inhibitions! so everyone laughed as loud as they could and it was like we all had a connection! i dunno why it didn't receive that good of a ratin , maybe cos they thought it as cheap thrills. it was pretty obscene yet so humorous. it is nice, if you wanna have a laugh! THAT MOVIE WAS GREAT SO EVERYONE I REC. U TO WATCH IT.

finally after that i bought my dinner where the ppl at the store kept askin me bout my roses and wantin to strike conversation with me. nice ppl, but oh well. so i reached home and took one last pic b4 puttin e roses into a vase!



i definitely attracted lots of attraction from students, teachers and everyone outside. ppl were lookin at me, my bag and muh roses. i felt kinda weird but oh well, its my SWEET SIXTEEN YO!

nevertheless i wanna thank all those ppl who gave me stuff and wished me happy birthday! there're too many names to mention and too many stuff i can say to each and one of you. but to summarise, i treasure and appreciate every single one of your greetings and well wishes! thanks, with sincerity and love!

i thought that this was gonna be a low-key affair. but apparently it was not. a big surprise to me, even ppl i hadnt contacted for a long time rmbed!

]MERCI BEAUCOUP ONCE AGAIN. AND BONSWAH, AU REVOIR!!!!

look out for 26/5/07. big. time. baby. can't. wait.

and henceforth, the teardrops went rolling down the rouged cheek upon settin eyes on that wretched information. there that girl was, sobbing and sniffing quietly in the backseat, not givin a damn if anyone was aware of it. not because of a breakup. not because of the death of a close one. but on realisation that 'they' were not what she thought 'them' to be. she was fooled. she was deceived. she was played upon.