Designer: Manikka
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heyrx. here to blog, or as you may paraphrase it, crap.

this week'll be a real tough one, both mentally, physically, or as i may add, emotionally too. there'll be 3 tests-history, maths and chinese (argh) and 2 vball competitions. hope we do well enough then. (ommmmm break a leg ommmmmm). but at least it'll be quite worth it, i'll be treated to something, which i'd not divulge for sake of human rights. or my rights.

man. i don't know what's this really huge thing hidden inside me- a very tinglin feelin. for years, i've been tryin to find my real self, to which i've realised i've not actually done so. at some times i feel that i've finally found this 'thing' out, but actually i still haven't. this 'thing' well... is not somethin you can find within moments, it takes years of cultivation and reflection to grasp the whole concept. i don't think many people in this world have actually totally found it out, maybe only great sages. well... this 'thing' is... findin your actual personal self.

sometimes i feel that i'm tryin to keep up with somethin, or at least follow it, havin e perception that that is actually my personal self. but after months of lookin back, i find that i'm totally wrong. i get astoundin amounts of feedback sayin that i've changed alot over the past few months, but well, these kinda things can't be avoided, it's kinda NATURAL. but, in the end, the underlyin question is,

have i found my actual personal self?

or am i just a simple, attention-seekin poser who follows everythin and behaves so superficially?

well many people would agree with the latter. and my resolution this year is actually to find out this 'thing' stuck in me. it may come true, it may not...perhaps it'll even take years before i can find the answer.

i just hope that i'll wake up from this reverie of mirages and get the answer.

well...yea. 3rd week i guess since granpa passed away. wrote a tribute to him. containin all the facts of the scenario on that estranged day. well we still gotta life live on. can't stop it. but hopefully everyone would get over it.

well today's sunday. the day when i had to go the the edusave scholarship prize-givin ceremony. man it was hell borin...didn't see any good friends...just familiar faces from pri. skool. and a gal from 2gr i guess. but while dozin off before it started, i saw a whole hell lotta cute guys! didn't know cute guys can get scholarships and do so well in studies. too bad i sat kinda infront and most of em were ugly skanks but behind me, few rows behind me were so smart smart, and i emphasize smart and cute cute, and i emphasize cute guys!!! no chio bu tho. but so many cute guys!! arrrg. didn't get to see more as i left str8 away after that. dad just said "we're goin tuition" i was like, 'what?' but hadta suffer 2 hrs of lame torture wadeva.

ytd was a very fun day!! it was darling may's 14th bdae party! met bestie galfriend amanda at tm to go shop for present...walked the whole tm b4 findin e suitable gift! while walkin...guess who we saw.... jie ting and 2 gals!!! only spotted jie ting...then as we walked nearer....e 2 gals turned out to be petrina and zerlina!! couldn't recognize em and they, too couldn't recognize us....zerlina was all e same...voice a lil diff. but laughter, well god still the same...petrina was last day here in sg b4 returnin in nz andhad a new hair cut! short eh? jie ting well sama sama! but zerlina say my voice go lower...and i more girl girl!!! last time say wad i tomboy now like so matured....just like amanda!! look so diff... hmm well.....wanna pulled em to go take neos... zerlina didn want it....you won't spoil the pic! then we walked around the arcade first....zerlina say got wad dunman shuai ge...but um no leh???!! then b4 gonna take neos pet and jt go run away! we went around whole tm but cannot find em!! arghh...so meanwhile amanda and i go take neos...shouted so much and made such a huge din cos we didn't know wadda do wif e machine...new wad....then shout shout shout..... later zerlina disappear...haix ...then we didn't wanna find em anymore...maybe not fated to take it...so we went to eat at ljs b4 goin to may's hse.... nice house and so sexxy gurlie eh!! then she showed us e guy she liked.... called DESMOND!! anderson sec ehh... we tried to matchmake em but they so shy shy so nvm. then we spent most of e time at e playground with may's lurrver, some malay kids and play play play...very fun!!! after that...cut cake then we left...today's matchmaker ceremony cum bdae party was soooo funn..... may must like it eh??? hahahaha well...... for me.... no thankyou if you wanna matchmake me...esp. dotter.... enuff ok? well nice weekend i had...so gooderbye folks