söndag, april 03, 2005
this weekend was a really memorable one. i cried the two whole days!
first on sat my family and i went tomb sweepin. last time it was only one, now, two. i just feel so weird. and this IS very nostalgic:
first we went to grandpas'. bought grapes and flowers. we offered e grapes and went to e columbarium. there i 'talked' to him for quite awhile. i looked around at other peepz's face and i thought it was really scary. so anyhow my mother just wanted some time on her own with him. there was also a woman there cryin very hysterically. mum said that she heard her cryin to her husband about leavin her with 3 kids when they were only so young. so dad and i went out. 15 mins l8er we came in n saw mum cryin like shit. my heart could just melt instantly. the scene's really very touchin.
then after some time we managed to get her outta e columbarium. then we asked him if he had eaten e grapes, usin that funny clove-like red color thanng. two times it 'replied' no. but i just had e premonition that if i had done it, grandpa would say yes. why? cos for e last 2 gatherins for prayers, i wasn't there. cos had tuition. felt relly guilty and wanted to like 'make it up'. so i kinda grabbed that red thanng from mum and kneeled down and asked e ques. immediately it 'said' yes. so mystical!! yea... everyone felt weird-ish. i got that tingly feelin too.then as mum reminisced bout the old times, i just had all that tears flowin down my cheeks.
the rest of the day was just visitin my granmas', as usual. then bought some shoes. blah blah..typical. then some big family quarrel. then shed tears again. mum even said sth very very very very very bad bout dad. n i dunno if it's truee. so just cried cried cried.
03/04/05: 0337
pope john paul e 2nd left the world.
only knew this @ mass... couldn't believe it. just remembered that 4 e past few weeks he was bein fed by a feedin tube and hadn't been in good condition. felt really very heart-broken. these few days there were many deaths and calamities happenin. with that earthquake, then so many of my father's clients either passin away or had relatives in hospital. well why is that happenin all so quickly, all at once?
then went home, watched some tv, saw channel news asia. they showed all these thanngs bout pope john paul e 2nd and how the world reacted to his death. polish and italian people were so hysterical. the men and women were cryin like shit. italy even had 3 days off for mournin. siggh.
this shows how hurt the world was. then as i saw everyone cryin and reminiscin, i just cried too. i feel like a 5 year old. but emotions can't really be manipulated.
so this weekend was "mournin week".
the week when i cried so much.