måndag, december 05, 2005
man i just realise i sound so corny in e other posts! um wadeva then. to count, i went 4 3 "holidays" so far already. nice, but definitely alotta memories to put me thru, esp. e latest one man, where it made me cry while walking along the streets of BEDOK cursing under my mouth.
this ordeal is well, terrifying, considering i had no hp and e person who i needed to contact with was unreachable!, then. and seriously, it was crying while walking along the streets of bedok! so embarrassing i know. for those who wanna know why i couldn't go 4 trainin, why it's cos i hate it! yea, sad but true. i'm dragging myself to every one of it. or perhaps everything in my life sux, since i hold the same feelings for piano. so tiring! wad valse and fantasy k397, it's terrible man,
come to think of it, in less than 2 months i'll be performin infront of 500 ppl, wearing a nice dress i hope and perfect stiletoes so that i can press e pedal properly or my 2 pieces will get ruined. and oh yea its not really performing, but a competition! with what they call adjudicators.what the hell is that, two men judgin u and they can have such a nice name? weird tho, and wonder how much they'll earn from adjudicating. fantasy k397 is ok for me so far, but im gettin so so sick of valse! and what, grand piano. for tharg''s sake, grand pianos make your playing so clear that even the finest flaw can be heard from everyone everywhere! i'm scared i admit. and have stage fright too! ahh never mind bout that. no one will know, anyway!
if i dun go for trainin, can i still switch ccas in 2006? hope so huh or else i'll kick your ass!
ok story time.
so cl was e lead singer again and i saw dl again with yk! what is the problem/? why do e boys that i **** all have lee as surname? disgusting! i'd rather have something like wilson, windsor, seymour, brody, dior or some cool name where you can actually be proud of. sunday is sad day and yet happy day, cos i can get to see cl but yet ruin it with the scene of dl and yk. and guess wad, lt had her long silky where-everyone-envies long hair cut off to a horrible bob! so terrrible! when did e pretty her get an ah soh hair, i really pity her.
sec3maths is disgusting, so difficult! oh please. argh and why is it that when i go around asking, everyone is having such a nice holiday, goin clubbin or out with their mates everyday but not me. ok well i do go out, but it seeeeems such a waste of my precious holiday. already, 5/8 of it has gone! and soon after we'll be going back tostudy and lead my -joda- life! no way! i'm still not ready to walk out of e red carpet and face the catwalk audiences yet. i'm not confident enough to step out and become the renewed threat of the school. not ready! so not! of course, why? cos i'm rather fat, gained a few pounds, and short. i hope i'll regain everything i had and build myself up to face the new schhool year, cos it's my job to be the queen, and i take this job very seriously. how can i ensure the paycheck of fame and envy to be secured in my place and not some other ditzy brunette? i guess i'll hafta work out the answer but i def. won't lose. i still wanna protect my tiara! it's diff. but no one will understand once again, cos only how many of you guys can be in my shoes to understand my plight? no one
well i guess everyone's pretty tired of my incessant blabbin but well i've no one to say it too, if i do, it'll be a new gossip topic. and recently, i've got 2 more fellowers, at first i thought they had style and were a THREAT to me, when after what i found out, it was actually so so opposite. argh ********** *** and ****** ***. sigh i'm sorry you guys are my next victim.
it's diff to have your own style and yet let it shine. but well, the only key is experience. you need experience in order to get wad u want. and if you try to imitate people. it only seems fake. it's true and obvious enuff. i'm not directing this to anybody but i felt it'll be impt to know bout it. like me, i've been tryin to establish myself as a fashion icon [sorry i dun think i'm successful yet so followers, p[lease STOP! B4 u embarrass yourself]. like last sun, know whad i wore? bare back with zip-up jacket, blue skirt with black tights and sneakers. it was a fun experiment, interesting and refreshing look but was so wrong that it attracted stares everywhere around marina square! so wad i'm tryin to say is you really do learn from your mistakes. mistakes are inevitable but it's only when when you actually learn! do not feel afraid to experiment, and learn from your mistakes. dont just cos of one mistake and cut yourself out. that'll only bring to yourown downfall.
don't feel hesitant to try [trial and error, make wrong and be correct]. sooner or later, you'll learn from it and in the end, all you'll ever be is a more beta person! in fashion i mean. yea this happens in every aspect of life too. friends have been tellin me that they've been tryin to find their real selves/ it ain't easy babe! this task takes at least years! not some 3 day task will you be able to finish it. it is difficult , baby
even i'm trying to learn. so everyone just put your heads up and don't feel frightened to try! cos there ain't anyone else who's gonna help ya in that!
i-like i mode!
[sarongpartygirlisprettyiadmit!]