Designer: Manikka
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i felt bored so i read people's blogs.
i realised that everyone is just putting on a mask.
they appear happy and without worries
but deep down inside they're filled with sorrow, puzzlement and uncertainty.
why do ppl put on that invisible mask?
i hafta admit that i am too.
people see me as some slutty low cheapskate desperate bimbo
i don't think i am
aint a bimbo- def. is pretty but stupid
do you think i am stupid?
i think no one can argue with me in that area
cos i dun think ur results can surpass me
not to give ya e wrong idea im showing off
but really, i may look like one, but at least i have a brain
i don't get INVITATION to see the heads or principals or discipline master
i get pretty good results
and im really happy to beat HER in that
she's been having a cold war with me 4 3 years
we appear cordial
but actually theres really a competition within us, esp her, trying to conquer me and all that
i found out bout e competition
it really proved that everywhere there are fake friends
who cant wait to see you fall
i had my doubts
whether i could beat her
it was such a tough fight
but in the end
I ALWAYS WIN
I WILL KEEP IT THAT WAY
NEVER EVER GET BEATEN, ESP BY YOU
im not a bimbo get that fact right, dawgs.



slutty bitchy. you think so?
i cut my hair into a bob and i really think it looks super nerdy
said au revoir to my hair
ouch, my heart-strings said.


wild, cheapskate, desperate. well?
i dun even dare to go to clubs
drug introduction, spiking of drinks, getting caught for being underage, picking out bad habits
its really not worth it
to spoil your life , when you're just a 15yr old
i sound really nerdy and good
but thats how it really is
i really dont dare
and wouldn't want my future to be ruined
i'll do all that l8er

boysboysboys
my almost whole life, ive been fussing about them
*****, chris, "surfer dude", yy, the list goes on
i like so many guys
but do i really really like LIKE them?
i don't think so.
i just have crushes
but i don't venture any more further
thats my problem
thats why i don't get the guys i want

i don't take initiatives
i wait for ppl to do it
i have high standards (i made a huge mistake last time)
it seems no one will ever meet up to my standards, now.

but come to think of it
do i really deserve such high standard guys?
i'm not pretty
i dun have a hot bod
im from a cheena skool
im hated by lots of ppl
actually theres so much more
i'm not really that good anyway

i m just a simple girl, not that complicated and screwed up as you think

you say you want me all the time
i try to give you chances
but you are such a wimp
words are all you can afford
there're no actions or anything else
you're a loser
theres nothing you can do to make me happy
hence, i make my decision to public:

I REJECT YOU

you're not worth me
and i don't like you
is that an ouch?
yeah i do that to guys
ALL THE TIME
ditch, dump, insult, humiliate

maybe thats why no guy dares to get me
cos im too feisty
too dangerous
too conniving

but sometimes i hope i'm not like that
i see people coupling, like they're on cloud nine
i look at myself
a pathetic single girl who appears to be completely put off by the idea of having a boyfriend
but actually would want it herself too

maybe its karma
maybe its' retribution
i did too much harm and bad to guys who really liked me
i treated them too badly
i treated my friends in such a way that they all ganged up to turn their backs against me

now i'm friendless, boyfriendless, and heartless
i think im numb
i dun feel any much of emotions

tell me why
i just want a simple relationship
and not get tangled, jumbled up in the daily gossips and love triangles

maybe im not suited for love
maybe im predestined to be alone
forever
maybe what my mother said is true
that i'll be a
SPINSTER
OR
WIDOW


i just need someone real bad now
to wipe away my tears that i shed in secrecy
to light up my life
to get me outta the labyrinth of love
where i love people but don't actually love them


please
i just need a YOU to be there for me




waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought
no doubt, indeed

whoa whoa whoa
if you're here to ostracize me for my slow posts, take a number
and if you wanna hear juicy details, bite me.

i'm doin this for u.

mon- came back from malaysia
it was supposed to be a wonderful trip but i ended up losing my luggage @ e beginning of my trip due to some miscommunication. great. and i also saw mr soon @ sunway lagoon. i guess not many ppl would wanna hear the same old cliche story of my numerous shopping trips. i cant be bothered to repeat, anyway. just bought the typical gurlie things- makeup, clothes, accessories, handbags, the list goes on. mega mall was awesome. u can neva shop finish!

personally i think i neva perspired in malaysia. too bad i wasn't that an ardent photographer or i'll show u e magnificent hotel we stayed in. the only con was that it was too cold. the food was terrific, 5-star wad u expect! the toilet is superb. theres one bath-tub, one standing up shower rooom, and the toilet bowl is isolated in e other big part of e toilet by a door. it was great,ya! i miss the breakfast it was e best intercontinental food eva. and the public transport-monorail was so new and clean and nice.

i loved klcc the most. and mostly the whole shopping trip was shopping. and yea, at the sunway lagoon, they also have their rendition of campus superstar. only this time e audience dun sit in a theatre or auditorium. they wear swimming costumes and swim in the swimming pool whilst seeing their idols perform. and mind u, the pool has simulated waves. i realised that even professional swimmers may not survive in the sea too. we wondered wad was e commotion and were really fortunate to experience the "live" performance, only clad in swimming costumes, wading in the simulated pool!

i miss the life in malaysia, it's almost like in utopia, except for the food and hygiene. the things are MOSTLY CHEAPER, not until i realised that i HAD BEEN CHEATED 20 OVA $$ AT THE MALAYSIAN ZARA. sg's things are cheaper, unbelievable! and the interesting thing is, i cried everyday. cos of the reality that i had lost my expensi ve luggage with precious clothes and misc stuff! and i couldn't deal with it cos my father kept reminding me i needed to buy so many things. i had to buy normal clothes instead of the ones i wanted for shoppping, simple stuff, underwear blah blah. that really spolit the whole trip for most of e time. we wasted much money buying things not needed for overseas trip. i had to buy shampoo, and all e unimportant stuff. talkin bout it makes me sad

otherwise, the trip was quite nice too. i think i'll end it for the part bout malaysia. too bad i didn't have the chance to meet up with my good friends from malaysia from ryla!! sighhh







mon- came back from malaysia. ponned skool.
tue-stayed home, cleared things, got ready for school, went to police station to clear matters over lost luggage
wed-fri got back most of results, did very badly this time. i really hope i can emerge the winner of the few of em

sat- mega madness shopping trip. the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE HAS STARTED! we couldn't stop ourselves from buying all the things that caught our eye. but b4 that, we all cut our hair! argghh!


ppl pls dun laugh @ me. and if there's any saddening or hurtful remarks bout my new hairstyle, pls dun let it get to my ears.i've enuff insults already. lets talk bout it. my hair's half the length of my previous hair and there's fringe now, really short one! it looks like the 70s, retro bob thats quite the IT thing now i guess. but i really wonder wad remarks i'll get. i really dunnno how to tie my hair, someone save me. i wanted to wear a hat or scarf, but xy reminded my that no no, that won't do. so i gottta just face the music and accept it. cut already, wad to do!


i know it's a bit late to say this but i celebrated my 15th bday on wed. i was showered with numerous gifts and def. a lotta greetings from ppl here and overseas, and was esp shocked that some ppl, esp THEM and HIM would actually greet me. im quite shocked and yet touched. i ate a lotta cakes. and i wanna thank my 2 best friends in skool, cass and xy 4 e surprise they gave me, a tiramisu cake! arggh fattening but so heavenly! i know its late to say my thanks but i really have to! so unexpected of em to gimme sth liddat! im really appreciative of that and now i realised that they're real good friends, unlike those ppl that stick to me, claiming to be my friend and all that, but underneath it all, they're just superficial and conniving. i realised who true friends are and gained an insight on the real meaning of friends. words cant expres my thanks for these 2 good friends of mine, but to put it shortly:


THANKS A MILLION CASSANDRA AND XINYING (and chloe tooooo!!!!!) I MAY BE SO OLD NOW BUT who's your jie jie now? meeeeeeeee




ty laH bitches!!