this pwns. everyone. its choreographed and we fall. ohyeah we did it during curriculum time. hoo!
enjoy. we love falling. again
enjoy, we love falling
yes yes i speak chinese
I had to read this msg 3 times before I understood what it meant. I received the same msg from some people which made me read it again and again. Dang. I thought I could forget about it and not think about it after that night. However some things cannot be avoided and we’ve to face it.
Installation.
Since then, everytime I heard or saw the word, I’ll cringe. The event was such a letdown. And I feel nothing but disappointment in us. And myself as well. Everything just didn’t turn out right.
Last minute changes
Guests and esp VIPs not arriving
Script not good enough
Things not done
Not enough utensils
The bloody list goes on. It was practically a major screw up. I think that we could have won the “Worst Installation Award”. Yeah we deserved it right on.
It started out alright. After school, I went to lh2 to meet the ppl. While walking there I carried so many things I swear I almost toppled under the weight, and esp infront of HE. Imagine how I looked. Carrying my bag, another bag, another shoe bag, a basket that made me looklike Alice in Wonderland, a red blazer (ew) and talking on the phone all at the same time. How would I look like? And we had so much FATE that HE had to see me this way. Whatever.
When I reached lh2, I realized that we only had 3 hours before the whole thanng started. Everything wasn’t right. The seniors would come late, preparations still undone, song still not memorized and serena haven’t got her speech done. I tried to make everyone sit still and be actively involved in the preparations, but childish sec 2s were playing with each other, some were sleeping, some were doing hw and only a few of us were frantically trying to get everything in place. It was only 15mins before guests started arriving that everyone began to panic.
It started off like shi*. I’d be grateful if they could switch off the lights so that no one could see how embarrassed we all were. The mcs were unprepared and often had pronunciation mistakes. Oh come on! They weren’t aware of the changes that were made and as a result, we had to deal with the situation impromptu. The atmosphere was tense and only a pathetic number of people were present. I think the committee had to initiate applause from the guests and ppl would just clap reluctantly. It was so awkward. It was evident that we had not done our preparations or rehearsals. There were so many glitches that there were silent glares from committee member to committee member. It was so obvious that everything sucked. The worst were the technical problems. And the mcs… ah I’ve got nothing to say. I was so glad when the ceremony was over and it was refreshments time. I thought that the atmosphere would change for the better. But…
The Rotarians knew that we screwed up big time. They questioned us in a diplomatic manner, asking if we had enough time for preparations. I had to answer them in my broken Chinese that we hadn’t. I could hardly piece some words of Chinese together and there I was trying to speak to the Rotarian. Great.
The VIPs left so early. We could see disappointment and utter disgust in their expressions. To them, it was a great contrast to last year’s Installation. I was glad they left early anyway, so that they won’t be able to see the mess we were faced with later on.
I was elated everything was over. However, I felt so sour, so bitter. Why had it turned out that way? Who was the main person who screwed it up? I really think a major part of the blame should be shouldered on me. But I’ve so many reasons that people should sympathize with me!
I had 8 tests this whole week
I learnt that my egeog teacher told us she lost 10 of our test papers and I was one of the LUCKY few. We had to study and sit for another test on the same day, which was so much more difficult than the original one, because all of us could stuff information into our heads no more. There is a limit to our brain capacity you know. I knew I screwed up the egeog test, only to realize the next day that the test papers had been found. That skanky old hag! She could at least clarify if the papers were really lost before giving us the retest, which antagonized and terrified us so much rite? And even if that was a mistake, she could at least feel apologetic or guilty a tiny bit eh? Instead, when she came into the class, she proclaimed that IT WASN’T HER FAULT and that we should be happy that we could sit for the retest cos we had more time to study. We said that it was unfair to us, while she rebutted that it was unfair for THE OTHERS. Come on, you freak. I thought I’ll like you more, and that I’ll prove my friends who hate you wrong, that you’re a nice and caring and good teacher. Now I despise you even more. I do not like you a tiny bit. At all.
I saw MCS (my child* sweet*) on wed. why did he hafta appear in front of me everytime I almost forgot about him? it’s like aggravating the wound or sth. I thought that I’ll get ova him and then, he appears in front of me. Okay I once told a friend that “when you have a crush on someone before, it’s impossible for the crush to go away 100%. Some part of it will definitely linger, and this part can get aggravated so easily. All u eva need is the slightest opportunity”. I guess THAT was the opportunity. So I looked at him throughout the whole bus trip. And it was when he alighted that I had the greatest horror. He was with a girl. Okay I don’t like him anymore but he was my child* sweet*! How significant was that! They weren’t acting intimate or sth but I just knew that they were together. And the girl was hot. Which made me even more *! Ahh why did I have to see that? And the thing is, he’s hotter than ever. How unlucky can I get, to see such a situation? And that’s like major event no. 2 of the week.
I joined IC just for fun. The main reason why I joined it was cos I thought it was a slacker club and that all I needed to do was to be present and then I’ll get my cip points and cca points. I thought that it’ll not be as tiring and strenuous as volleyball, which is, of course. I thought that I could finally slack and have more time for myself, studies and so on. Instead it was far from that. I became the vp, goodness gracious. Why would have thought bout that? I had so many more responsibilities compared to being the vice captain of the volleyball team. There were so many things to do. And the role of vp’s to assist the president rite? And also serena’s chickenpox was so untimely, as it occurred when we needed her the most. So I became the one in charge. You gotta understand my difficulties.
Im so f* up with my studying life. Who the hell ends skool so late anyway? How’re you supposed to juggle so many subjects whilst being on top of the competition? I did try my best, maybe im just unlucky or sth. Our IC only has less than 20 ppl left. Some of them, as gekyin said, are CMI.really. no doubt CMI. Everyone was busy with their tests, so how were we supposed to cope with everything?
It was a huge mistake. Maybe I shouldn’t even have quitted volleyball. Everyone was like, shocked when they heard that I quit such a reputable and cool cca to join the nerd and despised cca. I miss volleyball sometimes too. Infact, I still like it so much. Too bad. Whats done cannot be undone.
We were told to entertain or at least talk with the guests and I just didn’t have the feeling to do it. So I called daffy’s admirer to help stall time and find a pretext so that I didn’t have to entertain ppl when all I felt like was shi*. L8r I had to put down the phone and ppl were telling me that perhaps we didn’t have enough rehearsals and preparations but the installation was overall ok. I thanked them but deep down I was nothing but a hypocrite. It was so obvious that it sucked. I thank the ppl for their diplomacy, but I just wished they could be more straightforward. Just tell us straight that it sucked big time. And they hated it. All least that would’ve been beta. Instead my ears abound with fake comments and well wishes. And I just had to give fake smiles in return. I tried to smile and put on a happy front, but deep down I was the opposite. When everyone left, I was quite glad cos we didn’t have to face the embarrassment and awkwardness from everyone. But we were off to a beta treat.
I was quite touched with some of the seniors, like adele and yijie. Adele gave us a baby sock or sth? With our names and IC written on it. Adele and yijie both wrote us letters and postcards. When I read it, I swear I almost cried! It was so touching. And I really feel very disappointed with ourselves for makin the installation such a letdown. It was supposed to be their sending off ceremony ya! So after that we kinda had a lecture from the outgoing committee and I guess we deserved it. They just showered us with criticisms while we were speechless to even argue back. Cos we knew that we were in the wrong. The atmosphere was really tense and almost everyone looked like as if they were about to cry. It was the first time that I felt so much from a lecture. It was the first time that I listened to every word of the lecture, which were like poniards. Every word stabbed.
but thank you gek yin and esp joanne. you guys really helped and were there for me when i needed assistance.
Ive got nothing more to say except for apologies.
Im sorry to the outgoing committee for our screwup. I know that you’re all disappointed in us. Im sorry for everything.
Really
I’m really sorry for everything.
With the current study stress, boy problems, friend problems, Installation aftermath and unstable-ness in life, I really don’t know how im gonna get through this phase.
this year's class photo- try spottin me woooo
and the class photo made me think about my old memories during the fantastic camp---
national day farewell party e
everyone's a camwhore, it depends on whether they wanna show it out or not.
presenting: do ray me fa so
she wanted the young hippy chics to take a pic of her. she wanted a kiss. she got it.
look at his expression- "oh-i'm-lovin-it-so-much-that-two-chics-are-beside-me-but-i-just-wanna-act-cool- and-pretend-that-it's-a-normal-thing-for-me"- that LOOK.
they call it they thorn among the roses. we can't stand his "cool" attitude, when he should be so elated that girls would actually be seen in a pic with him. so we decided to give him some treatment.
this is a trishaw. too bad our faces couldn't be seen clearly. rather romantic, though.--
today was x-country day, and a tres tres hectic one, in fact.
during pe, i was pissed with muh mates, cos they ran off w/o me. we were walkin when suddenly they just ran so quickly. i told em to wait, but they just kept running faster. l8r, they even turned and laughed, whilst i walked alone. the boys were behind me, and the feelin was so weird. i was fumed of course, and l8r i told * that they were very bad. * said that * thought that i would run after them. then i said that they were so childish. with a mood so spoilt, i didnt feel like playin with em @ all. decided to play volley with yiting munwee and chloe instead. afterawhile * called me to play. i had my pride and din't wanna. but chloe told me its okay i could go, and they needed an extra player. so i went. it was fun tho. i think i forgave them, and i don't even know if they know i was unhappy with em bout this whole incident in the first place. since im born first amongst em, i shall act with more maturity then. no use fallin for their chilish games tho.
after skool
met joanne to do stuff. we managed to get some name cards from mrs tan's desk, with verily tan starin at us. went to canteen to talk bout catering for a long long time. then went to pp to buy stamps. didn't decide to put bag in chloe's house in the end. did lotsa stuff, met lotsa ppl den bought bubble tea even tho x-country's gonna start in 15mins. suddenly, this girl shoved to me her hp, askin me to just take it for the moment. she haphazardly told me the reason why, and since i've got nothing to lose, i took it then.
took 31, together with some cchms ppl. it was a long walk from the bus stop to the assembly area. and the whole time round, "cheri's gang" was walkin with us! everyone walked at the same pace and it really looked as if we were together. ahh if only.
was late for race. was the last in bn to reach there. so i came in like with a grand entrance. when i put my bag at the bag area, the race actually started. i quickly went to the startin point, wanted to start goin but joanne had to get her tag. tried to stop but couldn't. after searchin and waiting 4 5 mins, i decided to just forget it. so i officially started running 12 mins after the actual start? saw xy from afar and catched up with her after awhile. after walkin and chattin, we finally reached the end point. xy was 36 and i, 37. i just wanted to end it so badly that i didn't treasure the opportunity to oogle at the ns men who were running half naked with their bulging biceps. ah, pity. i dunno why, but i didn't bother lookin at ppl, tho i saw **- so cute! when i reached the end point some freak called me- go, cherry strawbelly. aaaaah. who the hell was it!!
after waitin for so long, it was prize giving ceremony. i finally learnt how to make the double star usin the rubber band. yay. oh yeah the 1st 4 gals who finished the race were all from our class. wow clap clap clap.. wad a nice record! it was very hot and there were dragon flys swoopin above us, so i was mainly freakin out, and another reason cos ZQ was so near me, ew.
after x-country, had some miscommunication cos i DIDN'T BRING MY HANDPHONE! didn't eat with them, ended up goin bugis eat SUBWAY. omfg i luvvv it so much! had a nice talk whilst on the way there and during the course of the meal. haha joanne is a very lucky girl
reached home at 2115, tho.
today is quite a nice day. i saw HE a lotta times. xy's almost got who's HE figured out, but i won't just budge yet.
i don't like boys anymore- this comment made by me sparked much controversy i think. but yes, mark my words.
I WON'T LIKE BOYS ANYMORE~~
i won't like anyone in the first place.
~~
it was national day celebration. i didnt wear red tho, cos i just don't feel like it! haha
so i showed my patriotism by pastin the "made in singapore" tattoo on my leg, or the ankle that is. xy accompanied me to do so so i won't feel weird. THEN there were copycats, neva mind,neva mind. we just treat it as we're honoured that people are trying to emulate us.
during assembly was when everyone went mad. after song boring games on singapore stuff, we had to stand and sing the many national day songs. everyone went high, really high, even one of the teachers (ms tay *** *****). she was like shakin her ass? oh man. one would think that i'd get very high, more high than the others, but today that wasn't the case. the people got so mad that they started formin human chains and running around the school so quickly, that they are seem like a blur to me. it was so dangerous cos there were a lotta turns, so some ppl fell and there'd be a domino effect. it was scary seeing them fall in frnt of us. they ran so wildly that some guy dropped his specs and it broke so badly cos ppl were stepping on it. and the funniest thing was, a broken watch just hit xy's leg. it was either from behind or upstairs. it was really funny and shocking haha.
for the other songs, we decided to stand and wave our hands and somehow sing. cass and i were very bad, for "my people my home", she sang with a super low voice while i did the super high one, one was like a caveman while the other, a mouse. ppl around us were givin us weird stares, but who cares anyway?
i like mrs. pereira, she is very nice. i saw her so i said hi, and i needed the singapore schools' directry so i asked her for help. shes much beta than the general office woman, who's so blur and doesn't know anything. so i followed her into general office, then she went chatting with some woman. when she realized she forgot bout me as i was standin in the middle lookin awkward, she apologised profusely and opened her hand. she gave me a PEANUT! so cute haha. thanks so much for helpin me. it realy meant a lot !
soo...
cass and i went out and i decided to go to the toilet @ paya lebar mrt. i wanted to open the door but it swung open suddenly. a very familiar face appeared in front of me. i stoned for a moment, and i was in so much shock and all my face opened so wide. that face also had the same rxn. after a few secs, i realized it was xy, wad a coincidence. she was actually going on a date with ~~. so we tsk tsk her, steady seh and left her waiting for her~~, while we two SPINSTERS went out. whereever we went, we either saw cchms ppl or couples. i felt so left out cos i was afterall, with a girl. SPINSTER what, what to do.
i told myself not to think bout such things, so my focus will be studies! my wishful thinking~~
these few days were esp. fun:
- manfred said "it'll be funny to bump into you". his english is so funny. so xy cass and i tried out, we'd literally bump into each other and say- it's so funny! thats really retarded.
- manfred almost got his way to go out with me.luckily i used joanne and she, being smart enough, yes, said she wasn't free. so i used her to be e excuse for why we couldn't go out. family dae huh, ahahhah. phew at least i won't spend my national day with him? ew. that sounds bad but oh well..
- xy and cass were wondering who my HE was. and they've come to two conclusions: G*****L or J***. sigh sigh! happy wondering. as if i'll like a guy who can perform formidable bending acts during volleyball!
- my secret that i tried to so carefully keep was finally blurted. i shant be angry with xy cos she didn't do it on purpose. i hope this secret only will revolve btw the 3 of us, dang.
- he* (not the cute he) invited me to a concert he's gonna perform in. i didn't mind going, but i couldn't go alone right. who'd i sit with? i thought of ppl i could go with, but i don't have such friends, cos the only one's overseas. the same thing happens for clubbing, you can't go cos you have no one to go with? haha, i heard clubbin is a bad thing, for bitches, slut and cheapwhores. i thought clubbing was jus for hanging out, sippin a drink thats all. maybe its not that easy afterall.
- my fris and sats are so fully booked now. with interact club stuff~~
- on mon alone i sent 120++= msgs! wow thats a record high. normally i only do 20-30+.
now, lets talk about THAT
regarding THAT, i'm in such a confused state of mind now. someone just clarify everything to me, don't leave me wondering and drawing my own conclusions.
oh man, someone's rushin me to watch tv or i'll be so incarcerated. 'll continue. peaceout.~
this is not a photo-shopped picture. welcome the thousand-hand buddha(or what is that called as?)revere this picture. yes bow kneel pay your respects!
ok. this is pure wine. and drinkin is kewl and all, but i think the taste's really horrible, aint likin it at all man.teachers told us that we werent allowed to drink, but after they left, e 3 of us got excited and asked this young waiter to serve us wine. he did and this is living proof of our audacity and rebel-nature haha. my not-so0-glam face is due to the disgustin smell of the wine, period.
after we realized we were in dead meat, we decided to leave and wait for our parents to fetch us outside the ballroom. we got bored and vain so we decided to take a picture to let us rmb this beautiful town club that we can probably neva eva go in again:. oh yeah thank you handsome indian/malay security guard for takin for us this picture.
alright. this is b4 e ceremony started. it's in the ladies. so posh right. and our skool's blazer is so nice right. bright red. woo lala
serena was teachin me how to take pictures at angles so that the camera wouldn't block our faces and how not to use flash so that our pics won't look that ugly. i was creative so i held it up so high. at least my face could be seen. so itwas a successfull attempt :)
some random pics:
this is a pretty nice and solid ass when cass and i were trying to focus our camera and try the zoom. it wasnt intentional to take this guy's ass, but it happened to be at the focus, so, i hope mr. nice caucasian guy won't mind. its a nice ass, anyway, right?
this is me before sleeping, feeling very high. so i decided to give myself a flying kiss:
~~~ this is me during racial harmony day, long long time ago. i was aka an air stewardess, wadeva haha.
this is how far east plaza's symbol looks like. and its an exact replica of zhengyang's underwear design. oops.
haha okay with the pictures. now, with my life.
i like ***** and in 2 weeks, ive known 3 guys name ***** too. okay, cool.
i kinda talked to b***i! that can inexplicably be the happiest moment of my life. yes. (anyway the first **** doesnt refer to b***i. its two diff. ppl.)
i ALSO like ******, but it's totally impossible, cos its just impossible i know. but he's so cute. and i tell xy he's so cute. and she's pissed with me cos i won't tell her who he is. so we refer to him as "HE". she thinks im lame cos im talkin bout a person whom i dun wanna say who it is. haha i know it's lame la, xy, but i'd rather keep it a secret, it's really embarrassin. hah
and anyway, the people i like are all just infatuations, except b***i, like a childhood sweetheart>? haha all these will die off in no time i hope, but it seems impossible that i'll actually like LIKE someone. and seriously, if i think about it, i don't like anybody at all, okay.
oh, so, anyway, we've a new and temp relief teacher called mr ivan teo, he's quite cute and alotta gals are like mad in love with him. like cass and jomel and zinc and june and blah blah. some of em are like really crazy ova him la, whole day talk bout him, whole day "OHHHHH mr teo is so cuteeeeee!" yada yada. haha i think teachers and students just don't make a perfect match, so hopeful girls, just don't set your hopes too high haha.
some are crazy to the extent that they'll stalk him and do silly things. i don't think thats ethical. even teachers are gettin concerned, like mrs jo tan and ms verily tan, who seems very very jealous when xs was havin private tuition with him haha. ms tan is very protective, maybe she jealous ooooh.
i think that since i came back from iltc camp, i seem more socialble. i seem to be able to communicate with ~~ more easily. haha i hope as time passes, i'll do even beta and probably improve on ~~.
we've so many things to do now. will it go well? will it be a flop? how will it turn out to be? im so uncertain and i just hope that things will go our way. just bless us, and let us get this over and done with, but of course we want it to be presentable and successfull. oh please help me!
um so lastly, i like subway alot alot! thank you gek yin for introducing me there for my FIRST, YES FIRST ever subway meal, with joanne. the food's great, im so addicted, as you predicted!
i so wanna be a food gourmet~~